How to Discipline Your Vampire - Mina Vaughn
I'll give you three guesses as to what this is. But I bet you'll only need one.. . . Got it yet?DING DING DING. That's right, it's Twilight fan fiction! "But, Alicia, surely that fandom has run out of greedy, talentless hacks who lack basic ethics and integrity!"Well, apparently, I won't get to stop saying this any time soon."Okay, but come on now, eventually there will be a publisher that has ethics and integrity, right? I mean, they'd have to care a little bit about their real authors and protecting them and their intellectual property!"NOOOPE. At least not when it comes to Simon & Schuster, who is publishing this (nor Penguin and Random House). It's all about money with them and absolutely nothing else. I wish all their real authors would jump ship to ethical publishers or self-publishing so I could freely support them without giving any of my money to these idiots."Alicia."Yes?"Seriously?"About what? There's so much at issue here."This story features VAMPIRES?!"Yep. You're wondering how these people are getting away with being such brazen, dishonorable thieves, aren't you?"Among other things..."Yeah, I wish I had an answer for you. All we can do is not buy from these publishers and keep speaking out against this. Stephenie Meyer hasn't been moved to do anything."Okay, but you thought Master of the Universe/Fifty Shades of Theft was a crackfic and can't believe anyone took it seriously. But this thing is the crackiest of crackfics! How in all hell did S&S think something so freaking STUPID and badly written deserved a publishing deal?? We're talking about VAMPIRE Edward Cullen as a sub in latex, and utterly ridiculous role play, pretending he can't break through the bonds Bella puts on him. IT'S JUST SO STUPID, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! ARE THE S&S ACQUISITION PEOPLE ON ACTUAL CRACK?!"Oh boy, it's tequila time isn't it? *breaks open the Cuervo* Here, take a shot. *takes a shot of her own*"Tequila gets me in trouble."Go back and look at what we're talking about."Gimmie!"That's what I thought."That's better."Yep. Now, to answer your last question, again, I really don't know. You're right about all of it, but since I don't speak the language of the unethically stupid, I can't interpret this choice."Sssstupid booook. No, iss not book. FAN FICTION! . . .how you doin'?"Okay, you're cut off. Let's get you to bed. Hopefully you'll have the luxury of thinking the complete destruction of publishing, fiction, and fandom is a tequila induced nightmare.