Start Me Up - Victoria Dahl

Congratulations page 364 of Sart Me Up! You may be the worst page I have read of anything ever. Or at least the worst thing I have read in a long time. Spoiler cut for language again:

There were five, FIVE, uses of "sex" as a euphemism on this one page. It was used for vagina, yes, but then after the entire book of using "cock" or "dick" suddenly "sex" was used as a euphemism for penis, too! Which, for some reason, has always been even worse to me than using it for vagina. And the cherry on top of the shit cake when it comes to that euphemism: He said it. OUT LOUD. Three times! What. In. The. Fuck. What man would ever actually say "your sex" when talking about a woman's vagina, as sexy talk right before eating it? Or ever? What man would ever actually say that? What woman would ever actually say that? THESE ARE ACTUAL QUESTIONS BECAUSE WHO WOULD??? I don't even buy that men say "cunt" for sexy talk so it doesn't work for me in books. I sure as shit don't believe anyone has actually said "sex" as a euphemism. WHY DO AUTHORS THINK THIS EUPHEMISM IS A GOOD IDEA?! Why, if you can use all these other words, must you use something so weak and awful too? Also, keep in mind that once, randomly, in the middle of the book, in Quinn's POV he was thinking about Lori and thought of her "pussy". The one time in the entire book vagina was referred to as something other than "her sex". I was like, SO YOU CAN USE SOMETHING BETTER THEN. Except, no, that was the only time. And the fact that he thought it once made me extra irritated when it came to him saying the stupid euphemism later. 

(show spoiler)

 

See, this is why romance authors need to stop being so explicit. Either go balls to the wall and write erotica with the down and dirty words or stick with romance and use your talent to write the scenes without the words (see: Nora Roberts). Because books are ruined when we rant like this about word usage. We're ripped out of perfectly good scenes and laugh heartily or get angry and cringe.